A Ramadan Guide for Mixed Families/Couples

In Muslim-majority countries everything slows down in Ramadan. Think about Christmas in Europe; yes, you go to work but let’s be honest, when December the 1st hits everyone is in a holiday and festive mood. The month of Ramadan is the same in Muslim-majority countries!

However, for Muslims living in Europe (or other non-Muslim countries) it might be difficult to stay motivated with fasting and to really focus on prayer and family. This is simply because while for Muslims is Ramadan is a holy period, for everyone else is not! This feeling might be even stronger for those Muslims in a mixed family or in a mixed relationship who are the only one to be fasting or celebrating the month*.

So … how can we make this month special?

**The following advice might be useful for those in a mixed relationship/family but also, for converts to Islam and their non-Muslim families. Let's start!

1. Make sure to decorate the house. Just google Ramadan decorations and you will see how many beautiful options there are. This can be a family activity (like decorating the Christmas tree) that you do few days before Ramadan begins. Having a festive atmosphere at home will help marking the month and giving it the right importance. Watch my latest reel here (https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4F6cmtKPCY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) to see what decorations I got!

2. If there is a member of the family that is fasting, talk about dinner schedule. The precise time of the day in which Muslims can break the fast changes every day (a bit tricky, I know!) so ask your fasting-Muslim member of the family where can you check the timing and offer to help making meals. If you are the non-fasting person in the house, this is a great way to support your fasting Muslim member of the family. However, cooking a (big) dinner for 30 days on your own can be stressful (especially with the pressure of having it ready for when the fast can be broken), so do plan in advance: can you order out once a week? Can you do some meal prep in advance? Are there family and friends that can help? Preparation is the key.

3. Ramadan is about fasting, of course, but more than anything is about getting closer to God, making good actions and spending time with loved ones. Sometimes fasting becomes the focus of attention and many people lose sight of the other three (much more) important things. Preparing a Ramadan calendar can help with this. For each day of the month think about something that can either a) bring you closer to God, b) is an altruistic action or c) is an activity you do with your love ones. As for decorating, this is something Muslim and non-Muslim members of the family can plan, benefit from and enjoy together.

4. If your family is Christian-Muslim, take advantage of Easter. For e.g., your Christian partner might be doing lent right now - a nice way to support each other is having a conversation about the importance of fasting in both religious traditions. Read my latest post on MMH for more information on this - https://www.mymixedheritage.com/items/help!-ramadan-and-easter-are-at-the-same-time%2C-what-do-we-do%3F-

5. Make plans all together for Eid al-Fitr, the festivity marking end of Ramadan. Do you have a favourite breakfast place? Plan to go there as soon as Ramadan finishes. Think about the new clothes you want to buy or, if you have family in a Muslim-majority country, why not planning a trip there to celebrate the end of the month?

If this is not your first mixed Ramadan, these tips might seem trivial but I hope that reading them has sparked a smile and made you feel better represented. To all the mixed couples/families/people out there, have a beautiful Ramadan and always be proud of your mixedness.

*Not every Muslim can fast but Ramadan can be marked and celebrated in other ways.